A select few of you dear reader(s) know what I’ve been working on the past year or so. To you all, I thank you for maintaining the secret. I knew you were the ones to trust. And without further ado, let’s get on with the announcement!
Today I am pleased to announce the world release of Iron Mike’s Dry Land Swimming Program(™), also known as IMDLSP! IMDLSP is an innovative program to improve your open water swimming performance when you don’t have access to a traditional swimming area. Stuck in a land-locked country with unclean water? IMDLSP! Deployed to the Middle East and stuck in your forward-operating base? IMDLSP-Fobbit version! Just too tired to leave the house? IMDLSP with Equipment!
For too long, swimmers were stuck to certain geographical areas of the world, slaves to the elements. IMDLSP opens up the world to swimmers. No longer will you be stuck to living in over-priced beach-side villas, or in the ‘burbs with the accompanying pool and recreation center. No longer do you have to worry about others swimming in your lane (unless you want…more on this aspect of IMDLSP in a moment)! No longer will annoying kids or noodling grandmas take over the only swim lane in your crappy little 20 yard neighborhood pool. You have been set free! Sure you could just do dry land training, but how many of us have dumbbells lying around?
IMDLSP‘s key is its use in any location. All you need is a DVD player or computer and about two square meters of space. And after you’ve used the DVD program a few times, you don’t even need the disc! (But we’ll give you reasons why you’ll want to keep the DVD for future practices; see below.) The DVD is the basic component of the program, but we here at Iron Mike Products have options in case you want to advance your open water swimming to the next level! But first, let’s talk about the DVD.
The DVD is region-free, meaning anyone, anywhere can use the IMDLSP! Here’s a look at the chapters in the DVD:
- Improve your freestyle for open water!
- The start
- Swimming in groups
- Feeding and nutrition
- Mistakes to avoid
But I’m sure you want to see what you’ll get for your money! So here are some actual screenshots from the DVD.
How about that, right?! Wow! You probably want to order the IMDLSP now, but wait, don’t rush to the bottom of this post. There’s more!
If you act right now (the computer knows when you’ve gotten to this point, so you have only 10 seconds to comply), we’ll throw in one dry land swimming table like you see in the screenshots!
So, to review: You are getting a DVD complete with open water training that can be completed anywhere, anytime! But there’s more. Included in the IMDLSP is one throw, knitted by my grandma, just like in the screenshots.*
And I didn’t want to mention this yet, but I will. Very soon IMDLSP 2 will be available! For the real crazy open water swimmers out there. If you’re planning a 24+ hour-long open water swim, you’ll need to consider things like logistics, advanced feeding, extended exposure to salt water, social media, compiling a team of sycophants, acting, dealing with the media, and turning your swim into an off-Broadway play.
Here’s the best part. Buyers of IMDLSP will get first notice of the release of IMDLSP 2 as well as a 10% coupon! You cannot beat that deal!
So, hesitate no longer! Call today: +996 01 555 7IM DLSP. Have your credit card ready (we only take Diner’s Card). We’ll tell you the price when you call. Don’t worry, you can claim the expense as part of your crew costs!
*Restrictions apply. Grandma only made one. It may already be sold when you call. Or thrown up on by the cat.